Are you a caseworker or Social Worker and wondering whether you should have your own personal therapy? Well, you are not alone…whilst in the past it was a bit taboo to talk about our own ‘stuff’, it is becoming quite common for us women in the helping profession to be transparent about seeing a therapist (and some of the reasons why we see them).
Whilst it is not mandatory for caseworkers and Social Workers to have therapy, I definitely think it should be encouraged. In fact, I believe other roles within the helping profession such as Psychotherapists, are required to have their own therapy as part of their training.
When I was younger, I was ’embarrassed’ to think about seeking therapy. Whilst I encouraged and supported my clients to seek therapy, I thought that because I was a practitioner, the same advice didn’t apply to me. Or, I needed to be ‘tough’ and ‘push through’ whatever I had going on and concentrate on helping other people, rather than thinking about my own needs.
However, when I was considering a future career in counselling, I realised I had very limited experience of being a client myself and wanted that to change before I started counselling others. Over the years, I had therapy with a few different counsellors and it completely changed my life – for the better!
But, I’m not going to use this blog article to go on and on about why everyone should seek therapy and how just talking about it will make you ‘all better’. I want to be honest with you because I know how daunting it can feel.
I certainly didn’t have the experience of ‘feeling better’ after a lot of my therapy sessions, especially Psychotherapy. I felt like I’d been hit by a bus and re-exposed to alllll the things I had buried deep for so many years. It left me feeling utterly exhausted, sometimes crying for hours. It made me question myself, my past behaviours and really left me feeling raw and depressed.
In saying that – I learned so much about my own needs and learned to stop being fearful of thoughts from the past entering my mind. Psychotherapy was both the most difficult and most beneficial self care strategy I have ever done! I honestly would not be as well as I am now if it weren’t for Psychotherapy.
These days, I have a greater understanding of what the healing journey looks and feels like and now know that it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to say no, it’s ok to have conflicting feelings about the same thing, it’s ok to be vulnerable (or should I say NECESSARY to be vulnerable) so we can grow.
It has also helped me to have a better understanding of what it might feel like for my clients and help them to feel safe within the therapeutic space. Which is another reason why I strongly encourage you to have therapy yourself.
Given my last blog article was about coaching and supervision and how these can support you as a professional, I thought I would talk about how therapy can also help. This blog article will discuss a few different therapeutic modalities that I have tried myself, to give you an idea of whether they may be helpful for you.
Cognitive behavioural therapy
At its core, CBT operates on the premise that our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours are interconnected, and that changing negative thought patterns can lead to changes in emotional well-being and behaviour. CBT works on the belief that distorted or irrational thoughts contribute to emotional distress and maladaptive behaviours. Thus, by identifying and challenging these thoughts, individuals can develop healthier cognitive patterns and coping mechanisms.
CBT incorporates various techniques, such as cognitive restructuring, behavioural activation, and exposure therapy. Cognitive restructuring involves thought challenging, it allows space for you to notice unhelpful thoughts and change these with more helpful ones. Behavioural activation focuses on increasing engagement in positive and rewarding activities through scheduling and problem solving. Exposure therapy, on the other hand, involves confronting feared situations to reduce anxiety and avoidance behaviours.
If you would like to learn more about CBT, there is a plethora of information on the internet for this evidence-based modality, but here is a quick and easy publication to read through.
When I first saw a therapist many years ago, I saw a Female Clinical Psychologist that provided CBT. As this was my first try at therapy, I never went into any depth, nor did I tell her everything about my life. I felt very uncomfortable and did not feel I could trust anyone (even her) with my secrets. This really hindered the whole process, and CBT with the Psych was basically just someone being paid to listen to me vent.
I found that CBT helped me to feel more comfortable in sharing my thoughts and feelings with another person (as this was something I never used to do). It was also useful to start noticing my thoughts and challenge negative self-talk. CBT wasn’t what I needed in the long term, but it was definitely what I needed to start the therapeutic process.
Acceptance and commitment therapy
ACT falls under the umbrella of CBT, it was developed in the late 20th century by Steven C. Hayes. The premise of ACT is that psychological distress often results from the avoidance of negative thoughts and emotions. Therefore, the approach encourages individuals to embrace their thoughts and feelings rather than resisting or trying to control them. The ultimate goal of ACT is to foster psychological flexibility.
Acceptance in ACT is about acknowledging and making room for all thoughts and emotions, whether they are positive or negative. Accepting them as natural and inherent aspects of our human experience. Commitment in ACT focuses on clarifying and pursuing personal values and life goals. When we align our actions with our core values, we work towards more a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
A key aspect of ACT is the concept of mindfulness. I have spoken about Mindfulness before, you can have a read here. But basically, mindfulness in ACT involves being present in the moment, observing our thoughts and emotions without judgement or reactivity. This approach resonates with the idea that a meaningful life is not devoid of pain and discomfort but involves embracing and moving through these experiences.
The second therapist I saw was a Male Clinical Psychologist that provided ACT. I specifically wanted to work with a Male Psych because I thought it would help me to develop a level of trust in men. The reason I tried ACT was because CBT had reached its usefulness point and I needed something more. I felt more comfortable with this Psych but I think that was purely due to having seen a Psych in the past – I knew a bit of what to expect and knew that they were bound by confidentiality.
One of the things I learned by being this persons client, was that I never wanted to have ‘back to back’ clients in my future practice, I wanted to have space in between sessions and never be yawning and still chewing food like he used to. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understood that he had to see that many people as part of his role and wouldn’t have had much of a chance to eat in the late afternoons when I would arrive after working all day. But, never the less – this was a good learning experience for me before I started providing counselling others.
somatic based therapy
Somatic therapy is an approach to psychotherapy that focuses on the mind-body connection to help individuals heal from trauma. This trauma can have lasting effects on a person’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. This modality aims to help people work through and heal from traumatic experiences by incorporating the body and physical sensations into the therapeutic process.
Somatic therapy relies on the understanding that trauma is stored in the body and that by focusing on physical sensations, we can access and process traumatic experiences in a more holistic way….rather than just trying to think and behave differently. One book that I would recommend reading, (if you haven’t already) is Peter Levine – ‘Trauma and Memory‘….hence the tiger picture 😉
When we experience trauma, our nervous systems can become stuck in a state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Somatic based therapies can help you to release the energy associated with this trauma through the use of gentle physical touch, tapping, diaphragmatic breathing and body movement.
The modality can help you to regulate your nervous system, develop a level of self-awareness of your bodily sensations, and as mentioned earlier, provide a more holistic approach to the therapeutic process.
The third therapist I saw was a Female Sensorimotor Psychotherapist. She introduced me to the concept of somatic work and also utilised Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) in our work together (I will refer to this later on). This Somatic based therapy helped me with something that I had been living with for over 20 years…Chronic migraine!
I never would have thought that talking to a counsellor would help me with physical pain, but I was completely wrong. This type of therapy allowed me to reconnect with my body, understanding that suppressing my emotions, being a people pleaser, living in a high state of stress, not looking after myself or allowing myself to feel – had lead to my body feeling physical pain.
I wont go into the details, but after 22 years of living with Chronic Migraine, I was free from the daily pain, hypersensitivity and nausea…and I am NEVER going back!
internal family systems therAPY
I am no expert in Internal Family Systems therapy, but I can say that I have experienced what it is like to receive this therapy and can attest to the dramatic improvement it has had on my life. This coupled with sensorimotor psychotherapy was a winning combination for me, but I would not have known that if it hadn’t have tried cognitive based therapies first.
IFS is made up of ‘parts’ work, in that we are all made up of different parts, none of them are ‘bad’, they have just been developed for the role that they have needed to play in our lives. IFS refers to these parts as managers, exiles and firefighters. A manager part wards of unwanted emotions, an exile is a state of trauma (usually from childhood) that carries pain. A firefighter comes in to play to divert attention away from the exile.
For example, an exile may be the feeling of rejection or abandonment experienced as a child if their father leaves the family. A manager may show up by not getting close to other people, thus protecting the person from feeling abandoned again. When a person feels the exile part coming to the surface, the firefighter may show up, leading the person to take drugs to numb out any unwanted feelings.
Something that I have personally experienced in my life is the need to ‘work hard’ to the point of drowning out any unwanted thoughts and feelings associated with painful experiences in the past. I finally realised that this need to keep ‘doing’ things to keep myself busy and focused on other things didn’t actually help me.
Don’t get me wrong, distraction serves a purpose, if it is the safest thing you can do at the time, then that’s what you will do. But, learning not to fear thoughts of painful experiences has helped me to feel more comfortable with feeling the sadness associated with the experience. Whilst it is not pleasant to sit with your own discomfort, avoiding it forever will never allow you the opportunity to heal and grow.
The reason I write this – is not only for your holistic wellbeing – but also for your role as a case worker or social worker helping someone else with their own experiences. For some of us, we carry our own painful experiences or trauma history as fuel to fire our passion for the way we can help others. But be careful, if you don’t pay attention to your own needs, you can get burned! Whether it be through burnout, compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma or something else.
Therapy (in any modality that is best for you) can be a really effective way of helping you to address your own thoughts, emotions and behaviours. It can help you to learn how to best regulate your nervous system, release physical and emotional tension and develop greater self-awareness and resilience.
